E-Readers and the New World

I like e-readers. I really do. The type face is cleaner and they are much easier to tote than paper books particularly for books of significant size.

However, I must apologize to your for using it. These new devices are raising other social issues that their creators never imagined.

First, these e-readers are causing a ripple in the bookmark making industry. People have created wonderful bookmarks with precious scripts or emblems of personal meaning. You can tell a lot about a person by just seeing what types of bookmarks that they use. Now, all of these is being relegated to the same pile that holds 8-track tapes, rotary telephones and Rolodexes. A whole industry is in peril.

Second, the nature of book collecting will also go by the wayside. With e-publishing, first editions will no longer be cherished but deemed as the copy with the most typos. In fact, they very idea of a “book signing” event will have to change. Perhaps, authors could write their name on the back of their reader’s Kindles.

Third, the reach of this societal change will seep into our legal system. A day in court will be a different experience. The bailiff will start a witness with, “Place your hand on this Bible app.” When a person is found guilty the judge could throw the Kindle at him.

Fourth, these electronic libraries will even change revolutions. Instead the rebels creating a massive book burning they could all just stand quietly in a circle deleting files from e-readers they took from the victims of the coup.

Fifth, our ability to assess people will be hampered as well. Consider the case in which you walk into the home of a wealthy person and you are invited into their library for cognac and a business proposition. You are led into the library by the butler and told to wait for your host. What does one do during this wait? They get up and look at the books on the shelves as though they were a scholar with the ability to divine the host’s very nature through viewing the spines of their dusty collection. In the future, you would walk into a library of empty shelves except for one which holds a Kindle that the maid dusts once a week. Your advantage is lost.

Sixth, middle school romances will be destroyed. What will ever happen to the days with a young lad asks the pretty lass if he could carry her books for her as they make their way home? He could ask, “Can I hold your Kobo.” Of course if she does not know what that is she would most likely slap the acne right off his face.

Seventh, the onslaught of e-readers will change tent revivals. A Bible thumping orator will learn rather quickly to change his ways once he converts to an e-reader.

Eighth, the poor runt of the litters will have horrible Thanksgiving day feasts. In the old days, the youngest of the clan would get a booster seat made of telephone books so that he too could be at table level with the rest of the family. This solace goes by the wayside if the only available phone book is on a Nook.

Ninth, young girls in love will lose their keepsakes. They used to press flowers between the pages of books to keep close their love for a young lad. Placing a flower on top of a Kindles does not preserve the flower and it gunks up the screen.

I am still keeping my e-reader and still much prefer to read novels on this device. However, in every book I read I will know that I am participating in the dismantling of our society. Please accept my apology and send your thoughts by email so that I can read them on my electronic tablet.