Smoke Out In Front

I don’t know if you recall an old time sports broadcaster named Vin Scully, or not. He has long since retired, but when he was broadcasting he could describe a moment in a ballpark with poetry. I don’t mean the rhyming verse, but I mean a description that evokes images far beyond the spoken words. Since his retirement the search is on for another broadcaster than can rival such poetic aptitude.

I thought I found it in last night’s Oriole – Blue Jays wild card game. The batter thought it was a fastball but he swung too early. Even the broadcasters were fooled. One said something along the lines of, “I thought it was the heat but it was only 84 miles per hour. A fastball with smoke out in front.”

Ah, I thought, there it is. I can see the ball, which normally speeds towards home with such velocity that it leaves a contrail, but this one was so slow that the contrail was actually sneaking ahead of the pitch. The smoke thus arrives a partial second before the ball does. The batter swings and his bat whiffs through that very cloud of massless mystique rather than hitting the solid ball, and he is enthusiastically called out by a vengeful umpire.

Poetry. Pure poetry. Such a vision that would have Mr. Scully oohing and aahing.

Except there was one small, itsy-bitsy, perhaps even trivial, issue.

The batter’s name was Justin Smoak.

The announcer had simple said, “A fastball with Smoak out in front.”

Sigh. The search continues.